Ticking Baby Bomb

The anxiety is starting to infiltrate my brain.

Crazy thoughts include:

Awoke Saturday morning to another horrible leg cramp in my right calf muscle. This time, Rob tried to massage, assist and calm me down. It worked but took awhile and I was quibbling like a little girl in pain. Again I wonder, could anything be worse (ie. contractions) than the leg cramp pain?

Spent Sunday afternoon out baby shopping on a beautiful warm day by myself and realized, what would happen if I went into labor right NOW? What would I do? I guess someone from the baby boutiques would know to send me to SPH and Rob would meet me there but my bag isn’t packed!

The baby received tons of clothes from the weekend baby shower. So much one baby can receive; so many new clothes to grow out of in a few months time and I just have to accept the reality that I too will have outfits that have never been worn with tags on them. I have enough trouble figuring out what to wear for myself and soon will have the job of figuring out little cute outfits for my baby to wear. And then I’ll want to buy more clothes so her cute top will have a matching bottom…and before I know it, I would have accumulated LOTS of baby clothes.

And then the ultimate anxiety: being a parent. I expect my life to change. I expect my relationship with Rob to change. I know this is a road of no turning back; once a parent, forever a parent. I also know that it will be a life stage far more challenging and rewarding than even in commitment in marriage. Don’t get me wrong, marriage isn’t a joyful walk in the park but when you add other human beings to the mix of family, it gets complicated especially when the parents (inlaws) decide to intervene.

I’ve realized I don’t really know what Braxton Hicks (BH)or real contractions feel like. I have had tightening in my tummy which I thought was BH but it seems to last for a long time. Then yesterday, we were at Walmart picking up some more baby stuff when I felt this pressure in my pubic bone area that came and went, fairly quickly for a minute or so which I’ve never experienced. It freaked me out and I freaked Rob out but it went away so was that BH or just baby head-butting and moving? No clue…

No wonder the soon-to-be parents get more and more anxious as the day approaches for the baby bomb to go off. The fun is no one really knows when it will detonate.

Hang in there Tres! Take this time and enjoy the fact you have the freedom and two free hands. Before you know it, one or both hands will be doing something baby-related.